Welcome to Love Lagoon. My name is Sandy, I’ll be answering any questions you have on today’s tour. So, first off, I’m going to tell you the story of soulmates. I know, I know, you’ve all heard it before, so I’ll make it short. When we are born, each of us is given a melody. A simple tune. A song, if you will. The catch is, only one other person is given this melody. Our soulmate is the only other person who knows our song. Now, usually this makes it pretty difficult to find your soulmate, but here at Love Lagoon, we try our absolute hardest to pair you with someone you might run into later in your life, and we are always here for you if you run into any trouble with this process, you can simply call our hopeless love helpline, the number is provided on each of your pamphlets.
Sorry, just give me one second to answer that.
Hello, you’ve reached Love Lagoon, please hold.
I can’t! It’s an emergency!
I’m sorry sir, I can’t help you right now, but if you could wait a few minutes for a different representative-
No! You don’t understand! Someone just broke into my house!
This sounds like a 911 problem, I think you should call the police.
No! I can’t!
Because he’s humming my song!
I’m sorry folks, we’re going to have to cut the tour short, a soulmate emergency just came up. I know, it sucks, you will all get full refunds on the tour and a coupon for 70% off any item at the gift shop, thanks for stopping in, have a nice day!
I’m sorry, you were saying?
There’s a man in my house humming MY melody. MY MELODY.
Okay, calm down, let me think for a second… Okay, well, has he taken anything?
No, I think he’s still just looking around or something!
Okay, well, you have a few options.
Option one, call the police.
We’ve already discussed this! I can’t!
Okay, option two, get out of that house.
And then what? Just let him steal all my stuff?!
Well, there’s only one more option, and I really don’t think you’re going to like it.
Just tell me! I don’t have any other choice!
Start humming pal.
You have to hum your melody. At this point, what’s the worst that could happen?
No way! Give me another option!
There aren’t any other options sir. You’re going to have to just do it!
Sir? Hello? Ugh, he hung up.
The very next day…
Love Lagoon, Sandy speaking, how can I be of service?
I did what you said.
Who is this? Wait, is this the home intrusion guy?
Yeah, and I have a name fyi. It’s Brandon.
Well Brandon, how did it go?
There’s good news and bad news.
Good news first.
He didn’t steal anything, so that’s great.
And the bad news?
He kind of freaked out and bolted. I didn’t catch a good look at him, and now I think I might never get the chance.
He’ll be back, I’m sure of it.
How are you so positive?
Because he’s your soulmate! You two have a connection! God, I’m tired of having to explain this to so many people: Soulmate means you don’t have a choice, you guys have a link in destiny, fate, whatever, but you can’t just run away from it! Love doesn’t work that way!
But I don’t love him! I’ve never even met him! And he tried to steal from me!
So what?! Go after him! Find him! He can’t have gotten that far. Or, you could just wait for him to show up at your door again. Love has a crazy way of working out like that. It’s simply a matter of when and where.
Okay. I’m sorry, I’m a little spazzed out right now, I can’t really think straight.
It’s okay Brandon. Just take a deep breath and everything will be fine. You have a decision to make. Option A, you go after your bandit soulmate.
And other options include…?
Option B, you wait for him. He will come to you.
And? Are these my only options?
I’m afraid so. Whatever happens though, you and your soulmate will see each other again.
Okay… What do you think I should do?
Personally, I would just wait. He clearly needed space to think about this whole thing, and he will come to you once he has a little more clarity on the situation.
Okay, I’ll just wait it out. Thanks again, this really helps.
No problem Brandon. I hope things go well with you and your mystery guy.
Later that day…
Love Lagoon, Sandy speaking-
Yeah, yeah, skip to the part where you help me!
Oh, okay… What seems to be the trouble sir?
I almost robbed my soulmate.
Wha-… wait a second… oh goodness.
Well, it’s just that… Your soulmate called already.
Oh no. What did he say about me? That I’m a stupid, creepy, wreckless piece of-
No! Nothing like that. He just explained to me how you kind of…
Ran out on him? Yeah, well, you could imagine my surprise, while I’m trying to make a little cash on the side, I hear some guy huming my melody. It’s a little shocking… and embarrassing. Does he hate me?
No, no, he thought it was kind of funny actually. He’s sitting at home waiting for you to come back though, so I wouldn’t waste a whole lot of time talking to me.
He’s waiting for me?! Is he crazy?! I just tried to rob his home… and he’s waiting to go out with me?!
Well sir, you really only get one soulmate, except for some rare occasions, but we won’t get into that right now. He honestly just wants to hang out with you, get to know you, or at least see you.
I completely agree, but I also know that love can seem stupid until you find the right person. For you, that person is Brandon.
His name is Brandon?
Oops! I shouldn’t have said that. I’m really not supposed to get too involved in stuff like this. I can tell you your options and you can make a decision from there, but I’m not supposed to meddle in anything else.
Okay, so, what are my options?
Ugh, I really have to just spell it out for you two, don’t I? You have these options. A, you can go to him now and discuss things with him instead of wasting your time with me, B, you can wait it out a little and clear your mind first, C, you can take the cowards way out and run from him forever.
Well… Part of me feels like C is the best way to go-
ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY OBLIVIOUS?!
Sorry, like I said, not supposed to get overly involved. Carry on as you were.
As I was saying. PART of me feels like C would be a good option, but according to you, it’s like… damn near impossible to run from our soulmate.
It is extremely difficult to try to outrun love. I’m not supposed to tell you this kind of thing, but you seem like a nice guy, so I’m going to just give you the answer here. Go with option A. Go talk things out with Brandon.
Okay. I will. Thank you for… blocking my stupidity.
The next day…
Love Lagoon, Sandy speaking-
Hey, it’s me.
Yeah, who else would it be?
You guys need to stop calling me! I do have other clients you know!
Wait… You guys? Plural?
Oh… No, I just meant… What did you call me for?
… Right, yeah… um… I met my soulmate.
Oh! How’d it go?
Well, he tried making excuses for why he tried stealing from me-
He wasn’t supposed to do that.
Okay, what is going on? First you use a plural when I call, then you act like you know him- Oh my god. No. No, No, No.
Did he call you?!
Yes, but only because he didn’t know what to do. He was afraid he really screwed up and he just wanted to know how to fix it.
Brandon?… Brandon? Damn. Hung up again.
Later that day…
Love Lagoon, Sandy speaking, how may I-
Do you say that everytime you answer the phone?
Yeah it’s me. I just wanted to say, I’m sorry about everything.
What do you mean?
I mean I’ve been calling a lot, and each time I call I end up being extremely rude.
Well… I wouldn’t say extremely, but you have hung up on me more times than I would’ve liked.
Yeah… So anyways…
I just wanted to say Cameron and I are working it out.
Cameron. Cute name.
Well now I’m blushing.
Wait, so does this mean you guys won’t call anymore?
Wow, you almost sound disappointed about that.
No, I just… Yeah. Okay. You got me. I liked talking to you two.
Hey, I just had an idea.
What if we hang out?
Yeah, you know, just go do something with friends… you do have friends right?
I do now.
Yay! Okay, we will plan something, and I will call later!
Yeah, I should go, I’m in the middle of another tour.